I am aware that many of my posts have been generally quite negative in nature. I don’t mean them to be and I definitely don’t feel like that all the time. However, last night’s post was probably the darkest I have written so far. It seems fitting then that the dark can finally be followed by some light.
The appointment today went well – better than we could ever have imagined. I haven’t allowed myself to hope because I couldn’t put my self in a position where my heart could break again. Indeed it’s hard to have any hope when the letter from the consultant says that Eleri is unlikely to be cured. Today we were thrown a crumb.
Eleri’s scans showed that the tumour hadn’t grown, in fact it had reduced in size. It was still there, but seemingly shrinking. This is encouraging, very encouraging. Eleri is by no means out of the woods, but she will get more chemotherapy and potentially have the tumour resected. We have one more round and one more scan before we know for sure. Anything could happen in that time, but for now we are happy. We are happy for the first time in weeks. Rob summed it up in the car on the way back from the hospital, without any real thought or contemplation he said ‘I had forgotten what this feels like.’ He meant happy, he meant content. It might not last long, but for today and tonight we have had a win. We will keep gathering the crumbs of hope and holding them as close as we can. Tonight we celebrate and tomorrow we face what is to come.